远方的孤独

最近，我感到美国的这次大选，无论投票情况如何，输的一方都不会善罢甘休。美国的共产主义革命运动应该是准备好了，这是个非常悲哀的时刻。我个人几乎失去了再写博文分析各种情况的动力。我感到我所了解的情况跟每天充斥的narratives完全不再是一回事了。 

碰巧读到美国顶级物理学家费曼多年前给他去世的妻子的一封情书，我想美国人在这个时刻是不是应该有所反思呢？难道真的要让共产主义革命在美国爆发？ 尤其是progressive左派们， 你们不是整天高喊科学理性，掌握宇宙真理，人人平等吗？ 读读费曼的一些话语吧。

“Physics isn't the most important thing. Love is.” -- Richard Feynman

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.”-- Richard Feynman

“I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.” -- Richard Feynman

“Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.” -- Richard Feynman

“I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb.” -- Richard Feynman

Richard Feynman was an amazing character mastering physics, thinking, life, and as we shall soon see, love. Richard and Arline Greenbaum were soul mates. They were a perfect symbiotic pair, each completing the other. They shared the love we all seek.

Richard Feynman’s Love Letter to His Wife, Sixteen Months After Her Death。

October 17, 1946

D’Arline,

I adore you, sweetheart.

I know how much you like to hear that — but I don’t only write it because you like it — I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.

It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you — almost two years but I know you’ll excuse me because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.

But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do what I have delayed in doing, and that I have done so much in the past. I want to tell you I love you. I want to love you. I always will love you.

I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead — but I still want to comfort and take care of you — and I want you to love me and care for me. I want to have problems to discuss with you — I want to do little projects with you. I never thought until just now that we can do that. What should we do. We started to learn to make clothes together — or learn Chinese — or getting a movie projector. Can’t I do something now? No. I am alone without you and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.

When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed. You needn’t have worried. Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much. And now it is clearly even more true — you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else — but I want you to stand there. You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.

I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don’t want to be in my way. I’ll bet you are surprised that I don’t even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years. But you can’t help it, darling, nor can I — I don’t understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don’t want to remain alone — but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes. You only are left to me. You are real.

My darling wife, I do adore you.

I love my wife. My wife is dead.

Rich.

PS Please excuse my not mailing this — but I don’t know your new address.